Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Man! It's December Already!

We'll never know what's around the corner in life, and would we even want to know. But things are taking a turn for the better. Still lots of little stresses around, but I prefer that to one BIG stress!

Communication is indeed a great thing. Thankfully we do a lot of it in our little family!

Happy 1st. December to all.

Much Love.  :¬)


Monday, November 22, 2010

Thank Ye

The weekend was good, heid-wise!

I'm sorry for not replying to each of you personally, and I do take to heart all your love & comments.
Some days are worse than others, but most days are better than others..

I had three gigs this weekend. I find singing really (REALLY!) lifts my soul! I am blessed to be allowed to get on a stage, perform, enjoy myself, entertain, and get paid! Blessed!

I think I would die if I could not sing.

Thank you.  :¬)

Much Love.

Friday, November 19, 2010


Y'all know the story about the 'Dutch kid and the finger in the Dam'?
Look it up then!

That's what my heid is like most days!
There's just that little finger stuck in the hole of the dam, holding back the massive tide, the tide of depression.
And most days that little finger is doing it's job.  It's a great finger, that little 'un.
But it's getting tired, and weary of holding back the mighty dam!
I fear it's gonna give up. Soon.

It nearly gave up tonight. But it has to stay strong, for fear of flooding.

It can only hold tight for so long though!

Beware of tidal floods!

Friday, November 12, 2010


I've been having the same most wonderful, special, relaxing and calming dream for the past three nights. I say the same, but really it's variations of the same. The dream is centralised around my son, 14 years old, the good times we are having together, the close bond we have, the 'man' thing a father & son get if they are really lucky.

But I don't have a son. I have three daughters. Three wonderful, beautiful and loving daughters.

And yet I keep dreaming of my son. He would have been about 14 now.  We lost him four months before he was born. Who knows what he would have been like, what he would have become, who he would look like?

Well, I saw him this week, and he looked like me. And we were good buddies. And we hugged, manly hugs, and we kissed,  father/son kisses, and he made me feel good.

Much love.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Wise & Wonderful

That's YOU. Yes YOU!

Thank you all for being here.
And for being there for me. I am indeed blessed.

Much love.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Down Down, Deeper & Down!

My head is in the 'I'm gonna die soon' mode again. I haven't had it for a while, but when it hits, it fuckin' hits! Major panic attacks, night sweats, jolting myself awake (when I do actually manage to get to sleep!). Every twinge is a sign of a definite tumour. I try to calm myself by telling myself it's all in my head, and then that voice says "but what if it IS?"

A fellow musician died at the weekend, lung cancer, mid forties, never smoked, only started feeling ill a few weeks ago. Gone before his family knew what was happening.

Being the typical MAN, I keep all this to myself, behaving as normal as I can around everybody else. Late at night is the bad time, when all the worst thoughts have their christmas party in my head!

I will be fine again soon, I know, this has been going on since I was a teenager. But that knowledge doesn't make each episode any easier.

I'm glad I got that off my chest!, I feel a bit better already.  Thank you for listening.  :¬)

Much love.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Journey To The Centre Of The Country! (About 90 mins away!)

Meself & Herself are taking ourselves off for a few days. It's been quite a heavy time, and though everything isn't as yet 'hunky-dory' things are starting to fall into place, some of them even into the places they are supposed to fall into!

See you all at the end of the week. And Thanks!  :¬)

Much love.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


Somedays it's like a whole rugby team is standing on my chest.

Friday, October 22, 2010


What the fuck is is with the increase in 'Male Pill' traffic in my in-box these days?
Does my computer know I'm getting closer to 50 by the day?
Is it sending 'Help the poor fucker get a hardon' messages to the chemical hardon pill manufacturers all over the world? By the amount of 'We can make you Bigger and Harder' mail I'm getting these days, it seems to me that these companies will just go bust tomorrow if I don't buy their products! Well I'm sorry! You can all just go eat dust or starve if you're depending on me to keep you in fur coats and fancy fizz! I'm hard as I wanna be when I wanna be thank you very much! Pfzzeizzesser! Me arse! 

Much Love.

Saturday, October 16, 2010


Do you know how difficult it is to kick one's own ass? Have you ever tried? Well, I need my ass kicked right now. I have been downright lazy, a slouch, a couch-potato. I need to get my ass in gear, and I'm giving you permission to kick it!

Much love.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours! (The Aussies will get this!)

My neighbours suck!
I wish I could afford to move, but it's not possible right now, and anyway the kids don't want to move to where I want to move to. The middle of nowhere! Miles from town, NO NEIGHBOURS! I'm getting old, and grumpy. I want to play my music loud, whenever I want to, to my hearts content. But I don't, 'cos I've got neighbours, and I am considerate, and I understand that one just cannot play ones music loud and hearty at 3AM, 'cos one has got neighbours, with kids, and jobs to get up early for to go to. I understand that. I do. But do my FUCKING neighbours understand that? Do they? DO THEY FUCK! Last night was the last night of being tolerant! NO MORE MISTER NICE GUY! I have asked them to be quieter, I have. As has Mrs. Philason, but they are usually so wasted that it's not worth the fucking effort. So from now on the first line is calling the GardaĆ­ (cops) to report a disturbance (to my family). I would rather we all live in harmony, I really would, but ya know, life is too short to be waiting for other people to come up to my standards, so fuck 'em.

Happy Sunday all.  Much Love.  :¬)

Thursday, October 7, 2010


We are all living under the one roof again, and that's good. We work better as a five-piece. The four was missing the one, and the one seemed lost without the four. The nest is full again.

Monday, October 4, 2010


(For Helen, who passed away last year)

My Sister is dead
And no number of late night flirtations
With wine, red, or white
Can heal in my heart the irritations
Or dumb down the pain
Nor quiet the boom in my head
That banging refrain
My Sister is dead

Saturday, October 2, 2010

A Pox Upon Us!

I lie! Most of the house of Stew have a head-cold right now, and sniffles abound! Man, the concoction of stuff being taken by us right now, I'm just waiting for the drug squad to break down the doors! What a start to October!

I had a wedding tonight, as is usual of a Friday, and I like to think the head-cold gave my voice a sexy Barry White tinge! I like to think that! I'm sick, let me think that!

The wedding? A bit boring, but we were paid in cash, and of course I am going to declare all to the revenue, 'cos I'm good like that!

Sang a few new songs tonight, which I enjoyed. Also sang a few old songs, couldn't quite remember the exact words, so just made them up as I went along, as you do! Did anybody notice? Do I care?

Nice quiet house on returning home, time for a relax, nice glass of Australian Pinot Grigio, (Yellow Tail, it's fucking delish!) slice of homemade apple pie (Thanks Helena) and a bit of a rummage on FB!

A bit of a lie-in is expected .

Much love  :¬)

Thursday, September 30, 2010

First Post

Hi all. This is the first post on my new blog. Hopefully most of you reading this will already know me from the other one. The reasons for another blog are many, but mostly because I recently discovered that some people, whom  I would rather did not know my business, were introduced to the other blog and it made me a bit uneasy! So, while I will continue with the other blog, (the usual videos and smart arserry!), I hope to use this one to be more open about myself and my life.


This past week has been quite an emotional time for the five of us in our immediate family. One of us had/has major health problems, both physical and mental, and as a family we were/are all hurting. But, after many tears, hugs, car dashes to other parts of the country, trips to the doc, and more tears and hugs, solutions have been found. Wheels have been put in place, and things are looking better!

Many things have been learned this past week by all five of us. The love, and the bonds we share with each other have become stronger. Father & daughter, Husband & Wife, Sister & Sister, Mother & Daughter, Mother & Father.

The future of at least one of us has been changed. Time will tell how this will affect the rest.

Things are not perfect, but we are all much happier today than we were this time last week.

Much Love.  :¬)