My head is in the 'I'm gonna die soon' mode again. I haven't had it for a while, but when it hits, it fuckin' hits! Major panic attacks, night sweats, jolting myself awake (when I do actually manage to get to sleep!). Every twinge is a sign of a definite tumour. I try to calm myself by telling myself it's all in my head, and then that voice says "but what if it IS?"
A fellow musician died at the weekend, lung cancer, mid forties, never smoked, only started feeling ill a few weeks ago. Gone before his family knew what was happening.
Being the typical MAN, I keep all this to myself, behaving as normal as I can around everybody else. Late at night is the bad time, when all the worst thoughts have their christmas party in my head!
I will be fine again soon, I know, this has been going on since I was a teenager. But that knowledge doesn't make each episode any easier.
I'm glad I got that off my chest!, I feel a bit better already. Thank you for listening. :¬)