Monday, November 22, 2010

Thank Ye

The weekend was good, heid-wise!

I'm sorry for not replying to each of you personally, and I do take to heart all your love & comments.
Some days are worse than others, but most days are better than others..

I had three gigs this weekend. I find singing really (REALLY!) lifts my soul! I am blessed to be allowed to get on a stage, perform, enjoy myself, entertain, and get paid! Blessed!

I think I would die if I could not sing.

Thank you.  :¬)

Much Love.

Friday, November 19, 2010


Y'all know the story about the 'Dutch kid and the finger in the Dam'?
Look it up then!

That's what my heid is like most days!
There's just that little finger stuck in the hole of the dam, holding back the massive tide, the tide of depression.
And most days that little finger is doing it's job.  It's a great finger, that little 'un.
But it's getting tired, and weary of holding back the mighty dam!
I fear it's gonna give up. Soon.

It nearly gave up tonight. But it has to stay strong, for fear of flooding.

It can only hold tight for so long though!

Beware of tidal floods!

Friday, November 12, 2010


I've been having the same most wonderful, special, relaxing and calming dream for the past three nights. I say the same, but really it's variations of the same. The dream is centralised around my son, 14 years old, the good times we are having together, the close bond we have, the 'man' thing a father & son get if they are really lucky.

But I don't have a son. I have three daughters. Three wonderful, beautiful and loving daughters.

And yet I keep dreaming of my son. He would have been about 14 now.  We lost him four months before he was born. Who knows what he would have been like, what he would have become, who he would look like?

Well, I saw him this week, and he looked like me. And we were good buddies. And we hugged, manly hugs, and we kissed,  father/son kisses, and he made me feel good.

Much love.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Wise & Wonderful

That's YOU. Yes YOU!

Thank you all for being here.
And for being there for me. I am indeed blessed.

Much love.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Down Down, Deeper & Down!

My head is in the 'I'm gonna die soon' mode again. I haven't had it for a while, but when it hits, it fuckin' hits! Major panic attacks, night sweats, jolting myself awake (when I do actually manage to get to sleep!). Every twinge is a sign of a definite tumour. I try to calm myself by telling myself it's all in my head, and then that voice says "but what if it IS?"

A fellow musician died at the weekend, lung cancer, mid forties, never smoked, only started feeling ill a few weeks ago. Gone before his family knew what was happening.

Being the typical MAN, I keep all this to myself, behaving as normal as I can around everybody else. Late at night is the bad time, when all the worst thoughts have their christmas party in my head!

I will be fine again soon, I know, this has been going on since I was a teenager. But that knowledge doesn't make each episode any easier.

I'm glad I got that off my chest!, I feel a bit better already.  Thank you for listening.  :¬)

Much love.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Journey To The Centre Of The Country! (About 90 mins away!)

Meself & Herself are taking ourselves off for a few days. It's been quite a heavy time, and though everything isn't as yet 'hunky-dory' things are starting to fall into place, some of them even into the places they are supposed to fall into!

See you all at the end of the week. And Thanks!  :¬)

Much love.